Friendship

Regardless of your intentions for the future – who you surround yourself with is ALWAYS important. Friends are Gods way of replacing relatives you may not necessarily take to. Take myself for example, I am truly appreciative of the people I consider to be friends due to their empowered  characteristics. They play an enormous part in my day to day life; influencing both my attitude and mentality, and I am ever so thankful. I once thought friendship was about quantity, what it’s really about is quality. Clichè but true. Loyalty and honesty, are key, more so than consistency and availability. To know the difference between friends and associates, is to be wise. I was once told “ Forget those who forget you “ – a small piece of advice yet powerful in it’s content.


I decided to write this piece for the new year due witnessing friendship groups constantly repeating the same mistakes. It could be denial or the fact nobody takes the time to learn about others, that’s the MISSING key, acknowledgement. Acknowledge that sometimes what one friend will experience is for your benefit, its for you to learn from his/her situation in order for you to know better. People are valuable sources, filled with knowledge, we have got to start taking notes of all the precious little things. Learn from your friends experiences. Everyone makes mistakes, everyday we try make one less mistake than we did yesterday. So i ask everyone to observe their surroundings. As you finish reading this, I would like you to go and check on your friends because sometimes a small ” How was your day ” or ” How are you ” can make someone`s day.

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I know this isn’t a relationship advice or love blog. So while I’m on this topic just to clear the air on friendships … do not allow your significant other to tell you he/she is good friends or “best-friends” with someone they have experienced an intimate moment with, kissing in particular. That knot can be undone one day, with ease.

 

To add, yes a male can have an innocent friendship with a female whilst in a relationship – vice versa. This can only happen if there hasn’t been any form of sexual contact or hidden feelings brushed under the carpet. Besides, that friend isn’t really a friend if something has happened in the past, that someone is just waiting for the time your partner gives it up to them and trust me they have all the time in the world to wait.

“ Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”

― Muhammad Ali

 

Text written by Marco Jair Lopez

Feb 11, 2015

England, London

Believe In Believing

Believing in yourself is probably one of the hardest things to do when you have no reason to, especially when all you see is nothing but someone who has lost all hope or value, someone who isn’t really looked at when they walk by on the street, someone who as time passes by nobody notices. How can you believe in yourself when nobody does, how ?

Deep within yourself you can’t figure out something, something you see that is worth you having thoughts of believing you could be something other than a failure. I want to share this story with you guys. This story is about a boy who’s never once had any reason to believe in himself nor believe in believing that one day he could be something. This boy was always different from the rest but he never really had a reason to believe in himself, so because all he has ever gone through have been a constant wave of downfalls from an awfully young age. He began to wander the streets looking for hope as that was the only time he had to reflect on himself. He always questioned “ Will i ever be something more than this “ something more than this boy who has nothing positive going for himself. He wanted perfection, he strived for it, though accepting that there wasn’t anything “perfect” about him. Taking into account every negative thing in his past, kept a positive state of mind. As this boy got older he always remembered where he had come from, as time went by the past began to fade although he still remembered the hard times. I will pause that story there.

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Believing is something that starts from within, how can someone believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself – question that! You have got to start with you, if you want to be heard & seen it all starts with YOU. Believe in what you see within yourself, believe in what you hear from within yourself. All of those things will give you comfort and within yourself you will automatically believe that whatever is out there is within your reach regardless of the circumstances. Everything starts from you. I recommend you read the article Law Of Attraction, it talks about the importance of self belief. There may be days where you lack inner belief because the burdens of life get on top of you, that doesn’t mean you lose belief in yourself. Always remember hope is bigger than fear, fear is a mental state which can be tackled by hope & belief.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu
Text written by Marco Jair Lopez

Oct 21, 2014

England, London

Confidence

 

Confidence is almost the same thing as when i speak of being yourself but it has its own twist to it. Being confident as a person is something I 100% know and probably my strongest trait, I know how it feels to go from someone that has 0 confidence within themselves in terms of how I look, how I act and my own opinions always felt like anything to do with me just wasn’t valid, I was afraid to come out my shell to then having 100% confidence but its not a thing to brag about, having confidence isn’t something you can show off to people its something you show within yourself.

 

Confidence is a trait that not all have but yes we can all build on it and have it in its own particular way, so what helped me become confident was my past experiences mixed with the music I listen to, so I began to realise while I mixed both those things together i started coming out of my shell more, then eventually I stood on my feet and was finally able to like what I saw of myself, accepted my actions because that was me and those that didn’t like it don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind it.

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You know we can all sit there and moan about how bad its been, how you don’t have it easier or how one is better because they have this that and the other. But better than all of that is YOU we all have our own stories, they don’t call history “HIS-STORY” for no reason so embrace that about yourself, while you’re alive everyday you’re creating your story be proud and be confident of who you are, so instead of complaining how you could be better think about how it could be much worse but your still here and that is where confidence should come in as a person. Our experiences and challenges should be making you stronger for the next day don’t compare yourself to others because we are all different and i feel like that is what people have forgotten about themselves.

 

Confidence is what helps you lead and explore, without it you won’t be able to move on as a person, you won’t really learn new things about yourself, you will rather take someone elses solution to your problem not knowing that they aint you, the advice may be good but they don’t walk away with the emotions you do so that is why i speak on having confidence, its very important even if its little as long as its a start. Confidence is that inner voice in your body that constantly gives you reminders about yourself the moment you feel upset over something. So if you wish to ever be anything in this world you have to start first by building your confidence because you will need that guidance within. I am going to end this post with one of my secrets this amazing Steve Jobs speech that i feel like is relevant to this topic but I took out a section of it.

 

“ Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life

Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’sthinking

Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. “

Text written by Marco Jair Lopez

Oct 9, 2014

England, London

Know your WORTH !!!

The reason I speak of knowing your worth is because I believe it’s very important knowing your value. You know it hurts me when I see people who have such great potential within themselves, but they just don’t know their worth. If you ask me why, it’s either someone hasn’t showed them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that they couldn’t see, or it’s because they didn’t realise there’s a left you was suppose to take to where the light is. So sometimes it is someone who shows you your potential. So I ask you to surround yourself with people that not only motivate you to do whatever it is you do, but that literally see something extraordinary in you that you can’t see yourself, and makes you question, why do they see me bigger than I see myself? That’s the type of people you keep around.

There’s no time to give energy to people who bring nothing but bad breath and negativity to your life, because it’s about bettering your mentality and being headstrong in this world. You’ll meet some really dark, twisted people who will run through your weaknesses quicker than you can think. And by the time they’re done with you, you’re filled with nothing but dark emotions and feel worthless. I know that feeling. I know how it feels not knowing when things are going to stop. If you’ve ever felt like you wasn’t enough for somebody or felt like you aren’t good enough to be around certain crowds of people. Felt like all people do is tread over you, well that’s because you don’t know your worth.

I want you to drop them thoughts and emotions of feeling like you wasn’t enough, feeling like you can’t be more, always feeling less of yourself. Turn that negative into a positive because maybe it isn’t you, maybe it’s them. My biggest fear in this world is to feel worthless, not having a real value, feeling like a nobody. I felt like that once and told myself I’d never go back there and that’s why I am where I stand today; because I no longer look at myself like I am the outsider.

You know no one has a clue about what you have been through in your life, so why live it feeling worthless. So this is what you do. You’ve got to rise above your problems that are making you feel low – easier said than done yes. I’ve been through some pretty traumatizing things in my life, but it hasn’t prevented me from feeling content with myself. My main quote in life is, “God doesn’t throw something at you that you can’t handle” and He really doesn’t. All the problems that you go through in life are supposed to make you twice the person you are, not break you. Feel beautiful. Feel loved.  Look in the mirror and love yourself everyday. You are just as great as everybody else; if you’re in need of reassurance, speak to that somebody who truly believes in you and be around them. You should feed off peoples’ energy and absorb that emotion they have for you and let that be the reason why you stand strong.

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You will know when you have found your worth. You will see it’s almost impossible to go back to that dark place where it’s lonely. You will care less about things and as time goes by, you will learn things about yourself that you once wouldn’t believe you could do. Once you know your worth, there is no looking back.

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”

Text written by Marco Jair Lopez
October 2, 2014

England, London